Gundam Mystery (can you spot the clues?)
by Toxic Dreams
Summary: guess what Heero and Relena are doing by gathering clues through the chapters. lots of different adventures, major OOC. R&R, but no flames! really funny! chap 2 has lots of half baked references! ITS AWESOME, READ IT!!!
1. Chapter 1 part 1. How shall we start?

Allrighty then, welcome to my fanfic. How are you all doing?  
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ANSWER ME!! oh wait, you can't. oh well, lets move on.  
This is going to be a 5 part fic, okay. Each part is going to have one  
or more clues in it that will help you in guessing what Heero and  
Relena are doing together. Some of the clues may be bogus though, and  
its up to you to figure that out. This story is also going to be a  
humor one, so aside from the mystery at hand, try to enjoy yourself  
and laugh a bit!  
  
Disclaimer (which by the way is the name of the crappier original version  
of this story also by me): I don't own Gundam Wing yet, someday i will!  
This is only because someday i will subjugate the planet and rule you all  
though, thus i will essentially rule everything. This sort of makes todays  
copyrights moot, but thats okay because that will make it all easier  
for me...i guess.  
  
  
*****************************************************************************  
  
Time:2 days after the final battle  
Location:A loft owned by Quatre in Downtown, Denver  
Problem:Extreme boredom  
A/N-Why?:Because i can!  
  
  
  
  
As the sun reached its noon peak over the bustling city of Denver, many  
things were happening. The bright rays of the sun slowly travelled to the  
dusty windows of a loft, and they refused to shine back. Inside the loft,  
a quiet argument between 5 young men could be heard. An argument on how to  
quell their boredom.  
  
"I still think we should call the girls over!"  
  
"But Duo, the only girls we know are," the young mercenary shuddered  
at the thought of his female "comrades" as he began to list their names.  
"There's Relena,"   
"Who could be yours Heero"  
"Lady Une"  
"Trowa could have her schizophrenic self"  
"Hilde"  
"MINE, ALL MINE!"  
"Noin and Dorothy"  
"Umm...i guess Quatre could have Dorothy and Wu Fei could have Noin"  
  
At this the chinese boy known as Wu Fei stood, his hand reaching   
for the hilt of his sword. Anger flashed in his eyes as he resisted the urge   
to kill his friend. "I don't need women baka! They are weak, and they   
subtract from valuable training time." Wu Fei seethed as Duo countered   
with a Shingami styled glare.  
  
"Hey, you know what guys?" interupted the blonde pacifist, Quatre, as he   
quickly sat upright in his beanbag. "I could go out and be evil for awhile!"  
  
Everyone paused for 5 seconds, and then began to laugh uncontrollably.  
"You..hahaha...be evil, you are just a stupid muslim!" Wu Fei said  
as he clutched his sides from laughing.  
  
Quatre pouted as his comrades laughed at him, just because he chose to be  
non-violent...most of the time. Quatre got a slightly evil and violent  
flicker in his eyes, and flashed it towards Trowa. Quatre loved to blow  
up Trowa but usually felt crummy afterwards. But if you live moment to  
moment, then the fun was worth it. Quatre reminded himself of the many  
times he had blown up Trowa, and calmed down a bit.  
  
Trowa, who never did laugh because he found that being emotionless worked better for him, suddenly glanced over and notice Quatre staring at him with strange intent in his eyes. Trowa was never one to be afraid, but being freaked out by his friend's expression, he could manage that.   
  
"Quatre, why are you looking at me like that, you are freaking me out!"  
  
At this, the remaining four pilots stopped laughing, as if they had been frozen in fear. Trowa was freaked out, and that just wasn't right!  
  
"Dude, that can't be, that...that just can't be" Heero said as he moved forward to help his friend.  
  
"I'm fine really, its just Quatre is looking at me weird" He replied  
  
At this, everyone glanced over at Quatre who took the initiative of acting casual while everyone then proceeded to glare at Trowa. Everyone except Heero, he stood up slowly and stretched his arms behind his back.  
  
"I'm bored of this, since I can't fight any longer, I think I'll go over to Relena's house to umm...*Heero glances at Quatre*...study with her. Yeah, that's what I'll do...study" he said, not wanting to warp Quatre's fragile yet war experienced mind.  
  
"Have a good time Heero." Quatre said as he grinned and waved, totally oblivious to the activities Heero and Relena would really be doing.  
  
As Heero walked out the door, Wu Fei also stood up.  
  
"Heero is right, this isn't a good use of our time. Duo, should i fetch the--" The chinese pilot was cut off.  
  
"GIRLS! YES! GO FOR IT!"  
  
"No, i meant the--" Once again, Duo had interrupted.  
  
"Oh, I get what your saying, go get it."  
  
As Wu Fei exited, Quatre wondered what he and Duo had been talking about. Trowa, while also totally oblivious, sat with his usual stoic expression, occassionally opening an eye to see what Quatre was doing. Duo was jumping up and down in his bean bag in excitment.  
  
"Got it!" Wu Fei called from down the hall as he walked back to the large main room of the loft. As he re-entered, Quatre was amazed and frightened to find Wu Fei holding...a bong.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, thats all you get for now. This took me a bit of time, but i would say the effort paid off. This is only part one of the chapter though, but i wanted to cut it short and get feedback to see if i should do more. if you think so then drop me a line, or if you see something that needs changing, tell me. if you are going to flame it go ahead, ill just laugh at you and not do anything differently. later ^_^!! 


	2. Chapter 1 part 2. A little trip.

Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long to get out, but I've been busy, so leave me alone!!! Also, no clues have started yet! They will in this chapter though, prepare for some Scooby Do crossover. Oh, and I'm only going to put a new disclaimer up if I have something new! Enjoy! (Major OOC!)  
  
Disclaimer: Read other one on chapter 1 and I don't own anything! So no suing me, it would be bad! I am not making profit!  
  
  
  
To recap from chapter 1 (this is chapter 1 part 2 really, not chapter 2) the GW boys were bored, and after deciding not to call the girls over, Quatre said he could be evil. Everyone but Trowa and Quatre laughed, and Quatre started freaking Trowa out. Heero left to see Relena and.*looks at Quatre* study.and Wu Fei went to get his bong.  
  
  
  
Quatre was shocked, what could Wu Fei, the fighter of injustice and mighty warrior, be doing with such a thing?! Quatre just couldn't find the words to say, as he stuttered to question the Chinese pilot. "Um, wh.what are yo.ugh." He said, as he continually stared at the bong.  
  
"Well," Duo said as he waited impatiently, "what are you trying to say Quatre"  
  
Quatre decided he would just come out and ask them. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?!?!" he said, as he pointed to the object which was to him a mystery.  
  
The two other boys got exasperated looks on their faces; this would be a long day. Trowa, in the meantime, had gone into the kitchen to get a snack.  
  
"You see Quatre," Duo began, "this is called a bong. People use it to smoke marijuana."  
  
Quatre was even more shocked than before. "You guys smoke pot?" he asked incredulously.  
  
Wu Fei smirked, "Not just us, but Trowa, Heero, Relena, and pretty much everyone."  
  
Quatre was horrified, but being the person he is, he decided to give in to peer pressure. "Wu Fei, pass me the bong." He stated, sounding almost defiant in his request.  
  
Wu Fei passed him the bong, he knew this would be amusing. Judging by the evil look on Duo's face, he had plans for today and plans for Quatre. (A/N: NO NOT YAIO!) Quatre slowly took a small hit "This isn't that bad you guys." Duo quickly jumped out of his beanbag and scrambled over to him, "Take a bigger hit." He said, grinning wickedly as Quatre started to inhale more. After 5 seconds or so Quatre paused. He slowly went red in the face and then leapt up screaming "MY MOUTH, MY THROAT IT BURNS LIKE FIRE!!!!!!"  
  
Trowa, who had re-emerged from the kitchen with the last food in the house, a Caprisun and a pickle, was amazed to find his drink gone in Quatre's attempt to stop the pain. A few minutes later, after Quatre was back to normal, everyone was high and loving it. The only problem was, they were still bored. Suddenly, an idea came to Quatre! "Hey guys, you know how space is all big and empty?" "Yeah, empty" the others replied "Well," Quatre continued, "we should go while we are stoned" Everyone liked that idea, but Trowa decided to make it better, "Let's get some munchies to take up there, Quatre and I will get them!" We Fei liked this idea, but being as stoned as he was, the only thing he could say was "Heh heh, munchies, heh heh."  
  
At the store, Quatre and Trowa were having fun. After buying all the bouncy balls and bouncing them throughout the aisles, they decided to get down to business. After splitting up and getting the food, which included items such as pudding, funions, ice cream, chocolate, sour cream and onion chips (with some dip), beef jerky, pink popcorn, marshmallows, little graham crackers, and more chocolate squares. To put it bluntly, they had the mad stoner munchies. As Trowa calmly pulled out a shopping cart and began to fill it with the 500 or so items on the list, Quatre had wandered over to the isle containing pudding. "My throat still hurts." thought Quatre as he eyed the pudding, glancing around to make sure no personnel were going to witness him. "This pudding should help me!" he said as he slowly peeled open some chocolate pudding and began to pour it down into the gaping maw that was his mouth. * 10 minutes and 50 or so pudding cups later * A Safeway manager, who was patrolling the isles, making himself look important nudged the inert figure with his foot. "Get up." He said, as he continually prodded the downed gundam pilot. Quatre groaned and rolled over. He had beaten hundred of soldiers at once, survived one of the greatest wars in history, but he finally felt like he was dying. "Death by pudding, what a way to go." He grumbled as he shakily tried to stand. "Hey Quatre, I got the stuff." Trowa called as he struggled to push the over-laden cart towards his friend. All the manager could do was stare on in horror at the heaping mass that could tumble if a single pretzel was put on top. "Oh wait, I forgot the pretzels." Trowa coincidentally mentioned as he reached for a bag of Gardettos deli mustard style pretzels, which happened to be in the same isle. The manager ran to try and stop Trowa from throwing the pretzels on but stopped short as Trowa neatly tucked them under his arm. "Hey, you punk kids, you owe us big for all that! I'd reckon about $650 for that and at least $75 for the pudding your buddy ate!" the manager screamed at Trowa so loudly as to slightly askew his hair. Trowa stood in shock, his perfect hair slightly messed up! "Quatre, should I go get the thingy?" the now severely angered pilot asked. "What thingy?" replied his blonde cohort. "You know Quatre, the thingy!" said Trowa in an ominous tone, which convinced the manager to begin sneaking away. "Oh.the thingy. Go for it." Quatre said as he got a Wing Zero glint in his eye. Trowa quickly abandoned his station at the shopping cart and a distant roar could be heard. Suddenly, a large hole appeared in the roof of the supermarket and standing in front of the manager was Heavy Arms, army knife gleaming in the fluorescent lighting. Trowa turned on his loudspeaker "How much you were saying that cost mister manager?" Trowa boomed. An indistinct whimpering was all that could be heard from the manager who was know curled in the fetal position crying for his mother. "Well okay then. Quatre, lets go back to the loft before we head to space, I got some stuff I need to grab." "Okay Trowa, let me guess, hair gel?" Quatre said in a mocking tone. He quickly silenced as the point of the army knife came to rest right above his head. "As a matter of fact Quatre, that is exactly what I'm going for."  
  
* A short trip back home later *  
  
It was sheer chaos. Quatre was throwing his shotels like boomerangs, Wu Fei was using his spinning around, Duo was using his scythe like a baton, and Trowa was attempting to shoot himself in the back. "Hey guys, how are we supposed to share the munchies in space? And where are they anyway?" Duo asked. Quatre got a sheepish grin on his face as his friends realized what he did. "You baka! You don't leave the munchies at home!" Duo yelled at the poor blonde boy. "Hey, there is a marshmallow flying at us!" Wu Fei screamed as a white mobile suit came closer and closer. "What should we do?" asked Trowa. "I don't know, but do it now, the marshmallow is here!" Noin was irked at this "I am not a marshmallow!" Duo was ecstatic "HOLY SHINGAMI! A TALKING MARSHMALLOW!" Quatre was frightened "Please don't hurt me o' marshmallow of ineffable knowledge!" Trowa was confused "I can't get it, can you show me how to shoot the back of my own gundam?" Wu Fei was flat out stoned off his ass (not bludgeoned off his donkey!) "Heh heh, marshmallow, heh heh." Noin was still irked at the pilots. "You guys, Zechs is back!" she told them, lacing some urgency into her voice! Everyone but Noin cried out at once "COOOOOL!" "No, that's bad, he is supposed to be dead!" she yelled "COOOOOOL!" As the boys finished their new chorus Zechs himself flew up. "Jesus, you guys are high as kites on a Taurus!" he noticed. Noin gasped "Zechs!" she said as the pilots all laughed. "Heh heh, Zechs sounds like sex, heh heh." Wu Fei observed. "STOP MAKING FUN OF MY BOYFRIEND!" Noin screamed at him as she blushed, realizing she had said that out loud. "What am I Noin?" inquired Zechs The blushing continued "Nothing, nothing at all Zechs honey um I mean.AGH! NOTHING!" Noin stammered, trying to control her reddening face. "Damn!" muttered Zechs Meanwhile, the boys had once again become bored, and decided to visit the.*looks at Quatre*.studying Heero and Relena. Noin noticed they were leaving and suggested to Zechs that the follow.  
  
* A short trip to Relena's house and several hundred rings of the doorbell later *  
  
"This sucks!" yelled Duo as he frantically pressed the bell again. "Heh heh, sucks, heh heh." (Bet you can't guess who said that!) "Shut up!" "Silence, silent boy!" "Stop this, we shouldn't be fighting!" "SHUT UP!" As the argument proceeded, Noin noticed Wing Zero begin to fly out of the backyard. Everyone immediately jumped into their suits and gave chase. "Heero, buddy, why are you running? And why isn't your visual turned on?" said Duo as he tried to get an image of the pilot. "Um.its uh.broken, yes, that's it." Said the young killer "Oh, that's it, you like that then?" Relena's voice broke out over the intercom * Velma: Jinkies that looks like a clue! Shaggy: Where the hell are we?! Fred: And what the hell would that be a clue for?! Daphne: I think you are taking this job to seriously Velma * "Well, with my cover blown I may as well show you all what I'm doing." Said Heero as Relena protested. All but the brown haired pilot and his annoying female passenger vomited as the image came on screen. "Holy Jesus, that's frikkin disgusting!" Screamed Duo as he tried to wipe down his instruments. "Heh heh, sick, heh heh." And with that, everyone decided to split up for a few days. Duo went to visit Hilde, Trowa decided to visit Catherine, Quatre guessed that Dorothy would need company, and Wu Fei.well, Wu Fei went to the store, got lotion, paper towels, and then went to rent some videos.  
  
  
  
Well, that be chapter 1 pt 2. Whaddya think? Ending is a little perverse, but its okay. Anyway, if I get enough reviews, I might post more, who knows! Laterz! 


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